Season 4, Episode 7: “Messiahs”
Directed by Iain B. MacDonald
Written by Mark Stegemann
* For a recap & review of the previous episode, “The Lost Apostle” – click here
* For a recap & review of the next episode, “Fear of the Lord” – click here
In the desert, Tulip O’Hare and Cassidy dig a hole for their friend, Jesse Custer. The preacher’s fallen from the sky, and not even Genesis can stop that. The Saint of Killers is heading off on the next leg of his own journey, determined to find God and kill him.
Jesse meets an old friend from long ago— Fiore, one of the Adelphi angels. The two men go for a long walk, across many terrains and seasons. “With Hell under new management” and God gone, things aren’t well on the other side. So, they’re glad to have Jesse around. Do y’all see where this is headed? Heaven and the angels need a leader.
“We want you to take His place,” Fiore tells the preacher.
Poor Tulip and Cass went on the road after their friend died. They’re now searching for someone important. Both of them mourn Jesse, in their respective ways. Despite the love triangle problems happening for a while now neither of the pair ever expected to be without him. Sad to see Tulip with that letter. She finally reads it, which will only serve to break her heart. She takes out her aggression on a church by the roadside where they stop, while the vamp gets his fill of blood.
At Masada, no one’s seen Allfather Starr. He’s been trying to crawl away from the state God left him in— dick torn off, carried into the wilderness by an angry dog. People are talking about “the world‘s superpowers” taking sides after the nuclear predicament in Australia, coupled with the grisly New Zealand killing. And way, way upstairs in Heaven, Fiore’s trying to convince Jesse to become “the Alpha and the Omega.” The preacher refuses. He calls the angels traitors, believing it a sin to try replacing God.
Tulip goes to see an old face, Dany. The crime boss will give them what they’re looking for, only if her former employee will do her a favour. It’s a deadly one to ask of Ms. O’Hare, yet, after diner meal with the vamp— who, in vain, offers to do the deed— she gets up without hesitation and guns down a Jewish man in cold blood. It’s actually Dany’s husband, whom she’s been trying to have killed for a decade. She didn’t think Tulip would actually do it. And she’s not giving over the info, prompting a good ass kicking.
Hitler takes Jesus to see the Christ child, Humperdoo, whose erection is less than thrilling for the son of God. After that, ole Adolf guns him down. He explains there are hundreds of clones “running around like dumb monkeys.” The actual new Messiah has been lost, which is the reason for all the clones. Hitler would rather Jesus just serve in the same capacity. Why not? A healthy, intelligent Christ is readily available.
In Heaven, Fiore keeps pushing Jesse, suggesting it may be going against God’s laws to take his place, but it could be disrespecting “His will” to refuse the throne. After all, God IS the one who killed Jesse. But, why’s Jesse even there? How could he go to Heaven if he’s killed and done other horrible things?
It ain’t Heaven. It’s Hell, and Custer’s stuck in a cell from which Genesis can’t spring him.
Tulip forces Dany to take her and Cass to a synagogue. There, they’re brought to meet the real Messiah— the original Humperdoo. They see him dance to a tune like Fred Astaire, before rubbing his dick off against a cane. They take him, only to face down angry Hasidic Jewish men. Chaos ensues, until Humperdoo rises from the floor and commands them to stop. He then takes Tulip’s hand gladly, leaving with her and the vampire.
Turns out Hoover Two is an undercover cop. Too bad Lara Featherstone— in disguise as a greasy Lazarus Coffee employee at Masada— shoots him in the head before he can do anything to halt Apocalypse 2020. What about Tulip and Cassidy’s plans? They’re going to use Humperdoo to make God suffer— they’ll kill him and make God watch the Christ child die, like he tossed Jesse from that plane while they had to sit by and watch.
Speaking of the preacher, he’s being tortured with his own personal Hell. The offer of becoming God remains as real as anything, though. Fiore shows Jesse a vision of Heaven in 2015. God was listening to all the world’s prayers, when Fiore came to tell him “Genesis has escaped.” He immediately left, hitting the road. He wound up in New Orleans, where he had himself a good time and found an interest in puppy fetish gear.
Why? What’s the big plan? What’s his next “great design“?
He’s working to replace humans, sick of their disobedience. Unless Jesse takes his place.
Soundtrack note: “Holiday Road” by Lindsay Buckingham plays on God’s road trip
What a series! Goddamn.
Father Gore’s incredibly pumped to see how things shake out in the final few episodes. The whole show has been so wild that it’s always amazing to watch it, somehow, top what’s come before. You know it’ll continue right to the end.
“Fear of the Lord” is next time.