Behold the End of Dignity: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE III – FINAL SEQUENCE

The Human Centipede III: Final Sequence. 2015. Directed and Written by Tom Six.
Starring Dieter Laser, Eric Roberts, Bree Olson, Tommy “Tiny” Lister, Tom Six, Robert LaSardo, Laurence R. Harvey, and Clayton Rohner. Six Entertainment Company.
Unrated. 102 minutes.
Horror


No ★s
the-human-centipede-3-600x889Again, I can’t believe there’s even a third part to this horror series. Tom Six did no justice to his own skills by making the second film a complete disaster of shock horror/torture porn. Some may have enjoyed it; I found it tiresome, beyond sick, and utterly pointless in the end. Six used black-and-white, which could have been great, but in the end it just could not make the movie worth watching.
Now, we’re here. I’m watching The Human Centipede III: Final Sequence, and I can’t say there is anything at all redeeming in this sequel either. Starting with the second film, for all its awfulness, there’s seemingly a shred of an idea inside Six that wants to express a message; of some sort. I think so, anyways. The second movie had the meta-film aspect happening and it was as if Six had theories on how horror movies affect the viewers, how the obsessiveness of people with horror and tragedy is furthered by media (namely film. Six did nothing with that idea, but it was still present, even in the tiniest form.
In the third film, Final Sequence, there seems to be at least a small kernel of Six’s sensibilities which are leaning towards commentary on/about the America prison system. The character of Bill Boss, played to a rottenly comedic depth of Hell by Dieter Laser (from the first film), is meant to represent the seemingly millions of people hellbent on making prison worse and worse and worse for prisoners. There are definitely bits to be mined out of the original plot premise for this sequel which want to question people and their right-wing, conservative leanings towards capital punishment.
However, again, Six drops the ball – even worse on this one in my opinion. He can’t seem to really get at what he wanted to do. There’s lots of comedy in there, plenty of satirical and farcical material, but Six does not capitalise on any of that. Instead there are bits of gross-out horror again to fill the void of competent writing, there is the inclusion of a famous pornstar simply for the sake of having a sex and blowjob scene, and nothing ever makes up for all the ridiculousness happening throughout the film.
human-centipede-3-final-sequenceThis sequel begins at a prison. The massive complex is run by Warden Bill Boss (Dieter Laser), who is a man completely resigned to finding ways he can torture and toy with the prisoners under his charge. His second-in-command is Dwight Butler (Laurence R. Harvey); he worships his boss to no end. Then of course there is the sexed up secretary whom the Warden abuses time and time again, Daisy (Bree Olson), and she pleases him whenever he calls.
After a good deal of time trying to break the prisoners down completely, yelling (much of the time incomprehensibly) at everyone who comes near him, and generally doing a bunch of terrible, torturous things to please the sadistic pleasures inside him, Warden Boss decides to go with his right-hand man Dwight Butler’s idea: use the idea from the Human Centipede films and actually create a full-fledged Human Centipede using the prisoners.
Perfect idea, right?
hero_TheHumanCentipede3-2015-1Saddest part about this third instalment is the fact it really does want to be horror-comedy, but it’s just terrible. The performance by Dieter Laser in the first Human Centipede was a real creepy, effective portrayal of an insane man. Dieter Laser as Warden Bill Boss is absolute and utter shit. I can’t even explain in words how terrible his performance is because it goes beyond the efforts of human language. I never like to completely rag on something, however, Six did nobody any favours by letting Laser give such an awful comedic performance. The Warden is meant to be a foolish character, no doubt, but the way Laser hams it up, scene after scene, line after god damn shouted/howled line, it is WAY TOO MUCH. There’s nothing wrong with doing horror-comedy. This just is not the way. Laser goes far past any sense of satirical characterisation, and he gets lost in trying to yell every single bit of dialogue/the raving monologues he has to give, that it is merely a jumbled mess.
Then, of course, Eric Roberts strolls in. Now I am a fan of Mr. Roberts – just check out my review of his expert performance in the vivid biopic Star 80. However, it’s no secret that Roberts has done a fair few terrible films in recent years. A couple of revivals have been laid at his doorstep, but it can’t outdo all the midway, bargain bin junk he has done. This is no better. His hair looks worse than mine, to start, but that’s a surface judgement – bad form on my part. What really kills me is the fact he’s even in here, why Eric? Such a bad part to take. Even worse is the fact he brings nothing to the role. Plus, seeing him walk through the tap-dancing mania that is Dieter Laser’s horrid performance here is like watching grownups try and sit down with children at a tea party. It is so fucking awful.
large-screenshot1The scene where Bill Boss (Laser) gets an excruciatingly long blowjob from his secretary, Daisy (pornstar Bree Olson) is exactly that: fucking excruciating. Not only is Daisy the only female character in the film, she’s made out to be a slut. She is forced on her knees. We even have to literally watch her swallow a mouthful of Bill Boss’ cum. He claims he didn’t get her dad out of prison for nothing, so she better swallow; there’s even a run of jizz down her chin. It is disgusting and utterly humiliating. I always hate “torture porn” as a label, but Tom Six really owns up to that label: he deserves it. This is a mix of porn and horror-comedy, except they just throw in the blowjob for no reason. Poor, poor writing. It’s the worst. Highly sexist. Maybe some will say it’s no surprise when Bree Olson is playing the character, I still think Six went way too lowbrow here. It’s one of the several embarrassing parts about this train wreck.

I can’t get past the constant growling, howling, yelling of Dieter Laser. For all that is sacred and good in the world – shut up, Dieter! He is fantastically terrible in this movie. I can’t see how anybody would say different, there’s just nothing at all that makes his performance work. He goes way beyond the point of ever being funny. At the beginning, I was thinking, “Okay he’s getting a bit hammy no big deal.” Then, every moment he’s onscreen he screams, his throat heaving every word, and there’s no rest. No rest from the embarrassing portrayal of Bill Boss that Laser brings us. Supremely shit. It’s basically him raving about castrations and torture and other nonsense concerning torture.
Then there’s the scene where the Warden gets what he is owed (or at least we think so – it’s all a dream). I can’t even believe it.
SPOILER ALERT – FOR ANYONE WHO CARES: one of the inmates actually cuts a hole in the Warden’s back and fucks him in his kidneys, basically. Though, it turns out to be just a dream sequence, it’s still… man, oh, man. Awful, awful stuff. Added to that is Dwight Butler (Harvey) apparently giving someone a blowjob in the dream. I mean… come on, Tom! Such poor writing. Very unimaginative.
humancenti3_featHard as I tried, I couldn’t find anything redeeming about this third film in the series. I can’t give it even a half star. Surprisingly, this is even worse, for me, than The Human Centipede II: Full Sequence. I can’t believe I’ve said that, but it’s true. One of the worst films ever made, especially when it comes to horror movies. Just beyond brutal. It’s fine to say, “Oh it’s meant to be over-the-top”. There’s just no excuse for such bad comedy, bad horror, and lazy writing. I can’t say anything further because there’s nothing left to say. Then comes the meta aspect of this movie: how can we plausibly see the inmates watching Dieter Laser as Dr. Heiter while he’s already in the film as Warden Bill Boss? Same goes for Laurence Harvey’s presence here while the second film is playing. It’s just too stupid to even comprehend.
I watched this to be a completist, that’s all. I’m a cinephile, and a massive fan of horror, so I try to watch anything/everything I possibly can. This was not worth it. I’ll never ever see this again and I hope this is truly the final film because anything else will only make Tom Six’s efforts worse and worse; there’s no way to make this series better. Bad example of horror with nothing whatsoever to make it worth watching.

5 Comments

      1. That was the problem the final bit is the only highlight of the film, it was too tamed down, annoying and pretty much a full blown wtf is this shit movie

        Liked by 1 person

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