Syfy’s Happy!
Season 2, Episode 3: “Some Girls Need A Lot of Repenting”
Directed by Brian Taylor
Written by Noelle Valdivia

* For a recap & review of the previous episode, “Tallahassee” – click here
* For a recap & review of the next episode, “Blitzkrieg!!!” – click here
Ah, how sweet— this episode begins with Christ and a bunch of kids at mass having ash crossed over their forehead. Little Hailey (Bryce Lorenzo) has to deal with a bunch of shitty girls at her new Catholic school. She has a flashback to her time with nasty Santa when the priest tries to put ash on her. She breaks his thumb.
Her father Nick Sax (Christopher Meloni) is meeting Le Dic (Michael Maize), facing fine doses of toxic masculinity in the face of his attempts at sobriety, from both Dic and the woman tending bar. Le Dic wants to “talk shop” yet the former hitman doesn’t want any part of it. He’s trying to stay clean from booze and crime, too. Happy (Patton Oswalt) doesn’t dig it all, either. But the offer’s a “simple B&E.”
What could possibly go wrong for the American version of James Bond?

At work, Amanda (Medina Senghore) starts to have serious fucking troubles from the PTSD she’s developed in the wake of her time at Sonny Shine’s (Christopher Fitzgerald) weird leather-furry orgy palace. She flashes back, long enough to nearly drown a patient. Whoa. Very disturbing moment. This unfortunately gets her fired from her job.
Soundtrack note: “VHS Sex” by Com Truise accompanies Amanda’s flashback.

“Remember that you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.”

A happy Jesus is a Jesus with delicious Easter eggs to eat! None of that sad crucifix and resurrection shit for these people. Kids at an event gather all the eggs they can and head towards a giant chocolate bunny in foil on the lawn. They crack it open. Inside is the skinless dude Smoothie (Patrick Fischler) was working on, staring back at the confused children. Kids are already eating the chocolate. This is part of the Shine plot to make Easter look horrifying, so his re-branding comes easy.

Nick heads to where he’s meant to break in, all the while trying to stop Happy from bitching. They’re interrupted by Bebe DeBarge (Ann-Margret)— “the last great movie star” from films such as Operation Bimbot, Bride of the Blob, and roles like “the gym coach in Jacuzzi Police.” Seems Sax is a huge fan from when he was young. Inside is also the revelation Bebe’s married to none other than Sonny.

In the prison hospital, Blue (Ritchie Coster) wakes up from his brutal beating. He finds Warden Kilpatrick (Jeffrey Emerson) waiting for him. The warden doesn’t like all the “murder” and “sodomy” Blue has been into there. Turns out, the possessed gangster killed all the Russian mobsters who attacked him. That’s surely Orcus lending his power. Then Blue gets a visit from his ‘niece’— a.k.a Merry (Lili Mirojnick). Not a happy reunion. She tells him about his lawyer Gino working for Sonny. She offers him a deal, hoping to get more dirt. He won’t play her game. After she’s gone, he sees a vision of himself— or, Orcus— and accidentally attacks a nurse viciously.

Mother and daughter are experiencing bad bits from the past. Hailey’s taunted by her entire class, led by a girl who wants to bring up the trauma of Christmas again. Her mom Amanda is at home, now jobless, and trying not to go crazy. Again, Com Truise (“Glawio“) accompanies her. This time, she dissociates and dives into a load of Easter chocolate. Not long before she throws it all up. The holidays are becoming entirely connected with Sonny. No good. Makes their traumas inescapable.
Bebe can see Happy, maybe because she’s so hammered. They talk about relationships and heartbreak. They even sing a duet (“Put on a Happy Face” from Bye Bye Birdie). All the while Nick looks around the mansion, nearly breaking his arm trying to steal the expensive, gold-laced dong from a statue of Sonny in the foyer. He’s caught by security guards— “Let go of Mr. Shine‘s penis.”— and Nick takes them on a chase, making violent work of the few he can’t outrun. While Bebe ad Happy do their dance inside, Nick uses a taser to recreate a musical act on his own, dispatching the remaining guards.

Little side note: Chris Meloni is a hilarious gift to us. Cherish him appropriately.

Nick manages to make it out with those blackmail tapes. He brings them to Merry, who sent Le Dic originally. They’ve got an antagonistic relationship after all that’s gone on between them. He’s pissed off, wondering why she always drags him back into the ugly immoral soup. Both of them want to take Sonny down. Nick just wants to live a different life, for his daughter. He can’t resist following his anger, though.
When Nick picks his girl up at school, he notices a Betamax player. Happy meets a few other imaginary friends, “a dying breed,” who are pleasantly surprised to see the blue unicorn. Nick and Merry use the Betamax player to watch the tapes. They’re just sex tapes with Bebe. Simultaneously, Hailey gets into a fist fight with her tormentor, who paraphrases one of Mike Tyson’s most infamous quotes— “I‘m gonna f–you ‘till you love me“— before someone pulls her off and hangs her from the bleachers before they shut closed on her, crunching her body into a flesh sandwich. Hailey tries to run, but the doors are locked. Smoothie’s come to return her bookbag. After that he leaves. Creepy.
At home, Nick’s going to jerk off to the tapes, trying to only look at Bebe. He falls asleep. Later, Happy notices the end of a tape. He sees someone named Dayglo Doug. There’s a bit of Hitler stuff happening, sounds from a Nazi rally, and, yes, somehow this series manages to get STRANGER. Dig it.
Those blackmail tapes are real after all.
What a wild chapter of Happy!, as if any of them AREN’T wild. This was especially crazy. There’s plenty more madness to come.

“Blitzkrieg!!!” is next time.