Scream Queens – Season 2, Episode 10: “Drain the Swamp”

FOX’s Scream Queens
Season 2, Episode 10: “Drain the Swamp”
Directed by Ian Brennan
Written by Brad Falchuk & Ian Brennan

* For a review of the penultimate Season 2 episode, “Lovin the D” – click here
screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-2-35-45-pmChanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) is confronted by the Green Meanie again. She’s trapped in one of the hospital’s dark hallways, as the killer has a baseball throwing machine aimed right at, running full speed. Chanel ducks and dodges, until one of the newest Chanels takes a ball right in the head. Luckily, she’s not dead. Chanel #1 gets away, and we see it’s Ingrid Hoffel (Kirstie Alley) behind the mask.
At the same time Chanel #3 (Billie Lourd) is sneaked up on by the remaining Green Meanie, Cassidy Cascade (Taylor Lautner). But he doesn’t kill his love. They both want to try and convince his mother Jane (Trilby Glover) otherwise. So #3 runs off for a “whores bath” so they can bang, and Cascade threatens Hoffel: leave his girl out of it, or face his wrath. Things between the Meanies aren’t looking good. Uh oh.
screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-2-42-16-pmDr. Brock Holt (John Stamos) apologises for the hand’s actions, nearly strangling her to death, although Chanel doesn’t think much of it, other than it’s progress in their relationship. Yikes. Meanwhile, Hester (Lea Michele) is still kicking around. She’s scheming over Cathy Munsch’s (Jamie Lee Curtis) fortune, who is on the verge of dying. Hester wants Brock to help her steal all her money, then they’ll run off together: “Just two murderers with no one to murder except for each other, but we never will because we love and trust each other.” What could go wrong, right?
Out in the garden, Ingrid gets some nasty ideas when one of the new Chanels is fertilising the tomato garden. Explosive substances. Green Meanie. Murderous impulse. You know what’s coming.
Also, Chanel mixes up the fact Brock is looking at engagement rings for a pending marriage proposal. Only when Dr. Holt calls everyone to Cathy’s room, where she’s lying waiting for death to come, he proposes to the former Ms. Munsch, soon to be the new Mrs. Holt. But he works on Chanel behind the scenes, too. He strings her along.
Cassidy and #3 talk with his mother Jane. He tells her that the “killing and revenge stuff” is all her thing. However, mom isn’t so willing to let all that go. She doesn’t want it to stop until the job is done.
So the wedding of Brock and Cathy goes ahead, right there at the CURE Institute. They’re now officially husband and wife. Then as they snuggle later, Chanel #5 (Abigail Breslin) comes in with information saying that maybe Munsch isn’t dying. She wants to get a sample of her brain, to test for sure. And though Brock isn’t thrilled, Cathy wants more time to be with her new husband.

screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-2-53-16-pmDownstairs, Denise Hemphill (Niecy Nash) is still in cryogenic storage. And Ingrid is down snooping around. She gets a call from Jane, who has her own secrets with Zayday (Keke Palmer) trapped in her cellar. “Now its just you and me,” she says. But Ingrid’s more interested in her latest plan to kill the Chanels.
Things at the hospital are getting tense with Hester wanting Brock to kill Cathy. She doesn’t want to go back to prison where she has to “draw porn” so she can masturbate. Not to mention Chanel can’t deal with Brock and Munsch together, no matter what fairy tale he spun for her earlier. Later, the biopsy goes ahead. Cathy sings “Smoke on the Water” while Chanel plots on throwing her pumpkin spice latte into Cathy’s open skull, which doesn’t work as planned.
Now the verdict: no evidence of the nasty disease, but it’s inconclusive. And she’s still going to die. Maybe. Could even be extreme dehydration. Silly, no? “I only drink scotch, or vodka,” Cathy gasps in a hilarious moment of revelation. She even rinses out her toothpaste mouth with scotch. She goes on to find out the brain eating wasn’t human brain; it was lamb. She’s not going to die!
Everybody heads to the basement for a celebration, champagne included. But it’s all a trick by Ingrid. She traps them in a cage downstairs. She reveals to them all her identity, sister of Agatha Bean who was accidentally burned alive in the deep fryer during Season 1. Out of nowhere Zayday arrives, alongside Jane who doesn’t want to keep on killing after seeing the CURE Institute’s good work. Only Ingrid guns her down, and they’re all left in no better position than before. She further reveals a huge fertiliser bomb, leaving them to die. Afterwards, Denise is alive! And she’s hilariously missed a few things while in her cryogenic coma. Waiting for Denise to defuse the bomb, #5 finally admits she does have teeth in her vagina: “I didnt want to die a liar.”

screen-shot-2017-01-11-at-3-06-53-pmUpstairs the crew chase down Ingrid. They head out back into the swamp. There, Cascade takes a machete right in his torso trying to save #3. In the forest Ingrid runs through a patch of muddy ground which slowly sucks her into the earth. Nobody helps. Until Munsch suddenly feels her conscience tug. She tries to save the woman, but the mud suffocates her and sucks her to the bottom.
Everything is over, and the Chanels have made it through alive. A little worse for wear. You know them, though. They’re bouncing back. #5 is doing her thing at the hospital; she and Zayday are essentially running the place. Munsch hit a rough patch when she finds out someone cleaned out her bank accounts – Hester, of course, who took off with Dr. Holt to an exotic beach on Blood Island. Where they play The Most Dangerous Game. Munsch went on to become a sex expert, like you didn’t see that coming after all her friskiness.
And Chanel, she went on to become a TV doctor with #3 as her executive producer on Lovin the C. So it looks like things have progressed for them after being hunted by the Red Devil killer, the Green Meanie(s). Things are back on track in their lives.
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Or are they?
One night as Chanel leaves the television studio, she finds a small broach in her car inscribed KKT. Who’s that in the backseat? It’s the Red Devil.


Wow, loved this episode, and loved that final scene! Didn’t expect it, honestly. Works great and maybe gives us something to expect for Season 3, which hopefully is on the radar for FOX. What did you all think about Season 2? I thought Season 1 was spectacular, and I’ve felt that Season 2 got even funnier, weirder, and wilder. Overall, a solid season.
Let me know your thoughts, and if you want another season with the Chanels, Cathy Munsch, and that sneaky Red Devil.

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Scream Queens – Season 2, Episode 6: “Blood Drive”

FOX’s Scream Queens
Season 2, Episode 6: “Blood Drive”
Directed by Mary Wigmore
Written by Brad Falchuk

* For a review of the previous episode, “Chanel Pour Homme-Icide” – click here
* For a review of the next episode, “The Hand” – click here
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At the CURE Institute life goes on, though not exactly well. Dirty blood, all because of Chanel #3 (Billie Lourd) recycling the stuff they mopped up. Cathy Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis), ever the businesswoman, has Chanel #1 (Emma Roberts) organising a blood drive. That’ll likely bring some new drama to the hospital.
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We get more on Ingrid Hoffel (Kirstie Alley), whose sister was Ms. Bean – the Chanels maid from Season 1 at the sorority house. She wants revenge on those “little bitches” and she’s kept tabs on them since they were released after the whole Red Devil mess. Now, the blood drive might allow Hoffel a bit of cover to do her dirty work. The drive is now a contest, the winner getting a trip to Blood Island; actually a terrifying, war torn island full of awful insects and other gross things.
Lots of good dialogue here out of Brad Falchuk’s writing, as Chanel quips to Cathy about her “semidamp orifice” and Cathy talks sly about Dr. Brock Holt (John Stamos) with his big dick, suggesting Chanel and most of her generation already have or expect to get HPV. A totally hilarious back and forth between these two, as Brock finds himself literally stuck in the middle. In other news, Zayday Williams (Keke Palmer) wants to use the blood drive for her own investigation into the “baby in the belly” from ’85, so that they might figure things out amongst the hospital staff.
Poor Dr. Holt has more problems than just with Chanel v. Cathy. His hand replacement continues acting up, playing a knife game with himself under stress. Brock wants Chanel to get a massive STD test before they get together, even though he’s a walking hard-on. Also, Ingrid warns Brock that getting closer to Chanel could be very bad for him.

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And Hester (Lea Michele), oh Hester – she’s extremely bored. When she gets bored, she gets murderous. So it’s either find her a job, something to do all day, or a few people are going to die. Chanel goes to Munsch, landing Hester a bit of a trial period job. This involves diagnosing a guy named Brandon Sathmary (August Emerson), who’s a vampire. He has the teeth, his skin burns in the sun. He’s got a reflection, but he drinks blood “like iced tea” he gets from some creep at the Red Cross.
On an on goes the blood drive, all the new Chanels give their donations, plus #5 (Abigail Breslin) is sucked just about dry. #1 is only concerned about getting to “bone down with Dr. Hot” on Blood Island. Back at the hospital, Munsch is lurking around the blood donations. She finds #1’s packet. But the Green Meanie is also lurking, right behind her. Only to vanish into the dark without a sound. Now, the Meanie knows what Chanel is up to.
The next day, Munsch brings Dr. Holt, Hoffel, and Chanel in for the news: #1 has all the STDS; all of them. “There was a crab just floating in the sample,” Ingrid claims. Oh, my. The games Cathy likes to play. This doesn’t only ruin #1 and Brock’s plans together, sexually and otherwise. It also puts Munsch at top of the list for the blood drive. No more Blood Island for Chanel. A hilarious “O Fortuna” scene with Chanel v. Cathy in the strangest yet fucking riotous moment perhaps ever on the show. The look Brock gives Chanel then Cathy is worth a whole episode of laughs. I honestly cried, that’s how hard I laughed. Amazing scene.


Hester believes she’s diagnosed Brandon. An incurable disease, but the blood drinking is all in his head. She tells him a story about binge eating Ring Dings. Her aunt helped with a bit of Ring Ding aversion therapy, which Hester now plans to use on the vampire. Only he needs lots and lots because he’s obviously been enjoying the stuff way too much.
Oh, and Chanel, she robs herself a bunch of blood to boost the stats for her personal drive. When she goes to deposit them there’s none in her cooler. Leading away from it are drops of blood, and you just know where those are going, right? Hester’s been blood cooking: soup, sausage, tons of different dishes for Brandon. This puts Chanel awfully behind, and even though Munsch wants to be ahead she’s more hoping to put Hester back in a crazy cage.
In other news, Zayday tries keeping her investigation from Chamberlain Jackson (James Earl). He knows that she believes it’s him. He also knows all kinds of what’s going on, he’s a smart guy. We already know that Dr. Cassidy Cascade (Taylor Lautner) is the son of Jane (Trilby Glover), but could there be more to it? We know there’s always more than meets the eye on Scream Queens.
#9 is getting tapped for blood against her will, as #1 needs someone to milk other than #5. But when Dr. Holt appears, #1 runs off to try telling him she doesn’t have “sexual Ebola” or “vaginal Zika” and wants him to give her another chance, to prove herself. But he needs the proof. Then, as expected, #9 gets a visit from the Green Meanie. He’s gonna do a few tests, too. Until Ingrid walks in. She wants to help. And when she asks the Meanie to take off the mask, he does: it’s Cascade. They strike up a deal – the Meanie keeps killing, Hoffel gets the Chanels to herself. Yowzahs. Two sickos. However, Cascade reveals he didn’t kill all the victims. Someone else is posing as the Meanie, as well. Now this is very interesting.

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Hester’s trolling for blood. She wants to treat the vampire, to escape a cell again when Munsch sends her packing. In the cooler, she comes across Chamberlain, and discovers tainted blood. Oh, no. Is she planning on doing what I think?
Meanwhile, #9 is found dead, drained of all her blood. She’s a deflated football, essentially. “At some point this swamp is gonna be like 90% dead bodies,” Munsch says. She’s convinced Hester is the culprit. When they talk to her, she’s upstairs using Chanel’s supposedly STD-ridden blood.
But the reveal is Hester tested it: no STDs. A-ha, Munsch! You got got. Not only is #1 clean, she’s also winner of the blood drive, on her way to Blood Island. Except there’s issues with the flight, Chanel only goes charter. Then she decides she’ll take cash, and Ingrid’s plans are spoiled.


Chamberlain is proving himself useful to Zayday, as he winds up getting some of Jane’s saliva through a bit of food trickery. Plus, he’s AB+ and can’t be the baby in the belly. The baby, he’s O+, and he’s also a god damn doctor. Cassidy switches up the stickers on his blood, throwing the trail off a bit. This puts Dr. Holt in the firing line. Zayday and Chamberlain bring their findings to Munsch, although there’s no way the “ridiculously handsome” Brock can’t be young enough to be the baby.
There are worse things happening behind the curtain of Holt. His hand, that transplant, it is devious. I wonder what that’ll bring eventually. Down in the basement there’s more madness, with Cascade giving Ingrid her very own Green Meanie mask, bringing the tally of Meanies to three. And who’s the other one? How long until they’re revealed?

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A solid episode. Just a ton of great writing; witty, outright hilarious, and mysterious stuff. Can’t wait for “The Hand” next time.